Hello Friends,
Let me apologize for taking so long to get back with you! Since I last wrote, a bunch of things have taken place. First of all, my body decided to grow another lump. But this time it was on the right breast, and let me tell you, either I was ignorant to the pain with mastectomy #1 or I'm just a big baby!
I rolled out of surgery with a smooth flat scar and glaring white bandages. Thankfully, I was too numb to feel the two drain bulbs attached to my side working overtime to lesson the swelling. But after the anesthesia wore off, I begged for pain relief.
Since I was diagnosed early, (Stage 1) no chemo was needed. Great news, because I was not looking forward to losing my few hair sprigs, although the total body skin exfoliation would have been a plus. And, I could stand for a new fresh shade of skin. No painful tummy surges and burnt cells. But I did have muscle pain! It made me walk the floor, bought headaches, and pushed chemo brain overload. I couldn't remember half of what I needed to do, or where I was yesterday. I hurt in long forgotten places, and my mouth felt like I swallowed a sandy beach! I tell you.... If I wasn't allergic to morphine, they'd have to tape my hands to the pump!
Anyway, the treatment now consists of nasty tasting pain pills, antibiotics, and lots of blood work, reconstruction surgery and adjusting of my diet. You know, that's not easy to do. Two of three times an hour I can be found in the refrigerator, head deep in the painful reality that I can't eat 90% of what's in there. Sometimes I'm casing the kitchen cabinets wondering why all the food labels are telling me 'hell no'.
But I think I've made some progress. No more packaged process meat, like bologna. And fast food chicken is gone totally. I have changed my lettuce to romaine, cause it has more nutritional value. I eat more fish now, although an occasional McD Fish sandwich makes it pass my mental security block. Beef is at minimum, I just try to make it a week without it. I take lots of vitamins, careful not to mix them with my medications. I think I'm on track, but its too early to tell. I think I still look like puff wheat.
Second, I want to commend the changes in cancer research at the James Cancer Hospital. Once again, they saved my sorry ............! In my 14 year journey with them I have seen it grow from one building to massive glass and steel structures stretching all over the OSU campus. diVinci Robotics, MultiLens Cameras, personalized protocols, and clinical trials have become the proverbial language. Now, the nurses can tell you nearly as much as the doctors about your recovery status. My 20 Mule Team is now down to 10. The Senior researchers have long gone to prestigious medical facilities all over the world. And eager, bright faces have replaced them. My 'survivor ship' is a study to them. They, like my family teach me to be humble on my journey and not to take it for granted.
All in all, except for the fact of reconstructive surgery recovery time, I'm hanging in there. I look forward to bras that fit better, no more dented cups and floppy straps. And although I can never wear a bikini, I got my eye on a hot one-piece red swimsuit that screams... I'm a survivor!..one more time!
pjledar
'for those before me and those regretfully yet to come'
pjledar@yahoo.com
